1. Be on the same page with your spouse.
Especially when it comes to the important issues such as finances, kids and when to have them, sex, intimacy, creating a monthly family budget, career etc.
2. Let your expectations in marriage be known to each other.
Agree to compromise on your differences.
3. The first year is a transition period.
So be ready to learn, compromise, and adjust to each other. Work through your differences and think as WE, not I.
4. There will be conflicts!
But your goal should be to go to bed happy. So work it out in the best way that fits your personalities.
Your spouse might need longer time to cool off and think things through while you might want it solved pronto.
5. Avoid the blame game.
Don’t be selfish…
And don’t keep score or judge your spouse too quickly.
6. Decide divorce is not an option (unless there are special circumstances i.e. abuse, addiction, infidelity)
7. Allow each other time to adjust in the first year by adapting yourself and not trying to change your spouse.
8. Marriage is a 100/100 partnership not the 50/50 we hear.
If you are not giving 100 then you are not committed to your marriage and your spouse, as such call it a part-time relationship!
9. Always improve the good.
Learn from the bad experiences that occur in the first year. And all throughout your marriage.
10. Confront your own issues and discuss them with your spouse.
Share your feelings.
Show your love, appreciation, and care for each other.
11. Understand that you take on a new family.
You married your spouse but he/she is part of an extended family.
12. Respect your in-laws even if you don’t agree or like them.
13. Be ready for the unexpected surprises that could easily end a marriage.
For example, hidden secrets such as huge student loan and credit card debts, the loss of jobs, sudden illness to your spouse etc.
14. Enjoy the lovemaking, and never take it for granted. Mix it up.
15. Learn how to fight fair with your spouse
16. Anything worth fighting for requires intentional hard work and continuous nurturing.
17. Be slow to anger.
Respond don’t react. patience is KEY.
18. Focus on improving yourself during this transition period.
19. Seek, learn and apply the positive information you learn about marriage.
20. Communication and paying attention to your spouse are two of the keys to a successful, healthy, and happy marriage.
21. Learn to forgive each other. Don’t call names or keep score.
22. Spend quality time to grow together.
Connect and make time for each other. Your spouse and marriage relationship should be your priority over family, hobbies, and career.
23. Focus on the needs of your spouse, yourself, and your marriage.
24. Define your roles.
For example, who cooks, washes the dishes or car, empties the garbage.
25. The moment your marriage becomes official, your marriage seed is simultaneously planted; nurture it for excellent growth.
26. Marriage is a beautiful partnership, with all the pecks that comes with it, being able to be home and cuddle with your partner or just someone to share your day events with is a great asset on its own. So enjoy every moment of it.
My husband and I have been married for 16yrs this year September 14th 2017 and I must say the first years of our marriage is the hardest. And it’s more because I am from Ghana, raised in a different environment and he is from the States…which you can agree is a totally different world out there. I spent most of my first year in marriage trying to figure out how I can learn to co-exist with him and also reading lots of books to help me grow and understand what this partnership is all about. I have seen that now all most people want is that white dress and the grand parties and not the understanding what really goes into the union. I hope with this blog you can learn a few tricks on how to understand each other and learn to co-exist with each other. And remember don’t think you will not argue…because you will but that’s just fine is how to handle it and perceive the arguments is what makes you and I and many women very different.
wanna chat more? check on my “talk to Mavis consultation” page and let’t chat